Kids at Weddings

2011-02-08T11:15:00.001-07:00

I heard another “can you believe it” wedding story the other day.
A good friend shared that she was thrilled to be invited to a destination wedding in Italy. One of those once in a lifetime events for the guests as well as the happy couple and this was a no expense spared celebration.

Of course with this level of exquisiteness and planning the wedding invite did state no children but (remember some guests don’t read or don’t think it applies to them) a couple showed up with a baby. The baby was young and I know for many brides, especially those who have not had children, it is very hard to understand why this happens. Like why can’t they leave baby behind with a baby sitter? All I can say is yes but…and sometimes it is hard if not impossible to do.

In this case the baby was young and it was fussy, and my friend who is an understanding grandma, said that the frustration for her was not that the baby was fussy but that the new mother did not have the courtesy or sense to go out and move away from earshot. So the advice is that perhaps in this type of situation a little reminder for the mother and father should one show up plus child…a little permission as if you like might prevent the possible interruption. Remember the English officiant I mentioned in an earlier blog, the one that reminded everyone present that if needs be “Feel free to leave and take the child or children and feel free to come back if they are calmed down.”

For brides I might also suggest that they welcome a helper as a guest in the case of a very new mother, a nervous mother or perhaps one that has a child that cannot be left with someone? A helper or a parent. If this guest is or guests are special person (s) in your life this albeit generous offer and expense might be more than ok. I do know that some brides set up childcare with qualified sitters and this is great idea but consider this would the baby understand Italian and perhaps it has never actually been away from the parents, and so on. I was not a wealthy mom by any means but I did pay my teenage babysitters to come to events with me with permission from the event host first, of course. They were there to help me and to remove my child, watch and play with my child if needs be while I was participating and it was important that they be close by. I also did this because I think that children do need to learn how to be in company and to participate.

So once again, you heard it here, many children attend weddings…Paper Posie has quality products and books that help keep them occupied and creatively take the educational moment ! Check out the website www.kidsatweddings.com be prepared and have a happy wedding.

2011-02-08T11:11:00.001-07:00

Ok, yes, we all heard the statistics released this week, more than 50% of US women ages 18-45 are not married. The highest ever…we are catching up Europe where weddings and the institution of marriage have been out of fashion for some time.
My UK attorney, likes to refer to the father of her grandchildren, her daughters partner, as her son out-of-law.

Today’s new wave of fewer weddings in the US has some obvious indicators like duh,we are in a recession. No doubt the birth rate will drop too…why in the last recession my husband was working in rehabilitation and he pointed out that people even had fewer strokes! For couples the housing crisis, high unemployment and the actual cost of a wedding is giving rise to delays. Yes, the flood of weddings we have seen in the last ten years was fueled by lines of credit and credit cards. So yes the numbers are down and anyone in this business will concur.

Kids at weddings were a “niche within a niche” and a small but worthwhile population for Paper Posie’s books and activity kits. And now they may have fallen off any brave bride and groom’s radar screen…or have they? Well I have pointed out before that when families gather they invariably have children with them…smaller family style weddings are children friendly so I am hoping that brides and grooms, the wedding party and even wedding coordinators do find our products. How charming so many say when they see the ways that children can be involved, happily and as quietly as possible!

Check out Kidsatweddings.com

2010-10-19T09:49:00.001-06:00

2010-10-19T09:46:00.001-06:00

Ok, yes, we all heard the statistics released this week, more than 50% of US women ages 18-45 are not married. The highest ever…we are catching up with Europe where weddings and the institution of marriage have been out of fashion for some time.

My UK attorney, likes to refer to the father of her grandchildren, her daughters partner, as her son out-of-law. There are many reasons like the recession, the housing crisis, high unemployment and so on. Yes, the flood of weddings we have seen were often financed by lines of credit, equity lines and credit cards. So yes the numbers are down and anyone in this business will concur.

Kids at weddings were a “niche within a niche” and a small but worthwhile population for Paper Posie’s books and activity kits. And now they may have fallen off any brave bride and groom’s radar screen…or have they? Well I have pointed out before that when families gather they invariably have children with them…smaller family style weddings are children friendly so I am hoping that brides and grooms, the wedding party and even wedding coordinators do find our products. How charming so many say when they see the ways that children can be involved, happily and as quietly as possible!

2010-06-02T11:52:00.001-06:00

I went to visit Miss Kitty today, the Santa Barbara bride’s best friend. I say this because she will help brides and attendants look more shapely than they ever thought possible. Her Santa Barbara store Purrmission sells the very finest lingerie, and has just what is needed to tuck and lift both body and spirits. When it comes to fitting Miss Kitty is very skilled at getting it right or should I say “them” right and let’s face it whether you are the bride or the bride’s grandmother who couldn’t use a bit of reshaping!

“Brides,” Miss Kitty shared, raising her eyebrows, “tend to balk at spending money on foundation garments. They just don’t think they need it especially after they have blown the budget on the wedding dress. But it is the little details that are important.” We chatted about the best and the worst brides, attendants and those poor left out grooms and that the day really isn’t only about the bride? Or is it? Well, of course, it is a pretty special day, but I do agree that the little details are so very important for the bride and for everyone else at the wedding.

Many of the brides that I have talked to over the years have said things like, “If I could do it again I would have much better entertainment.” or “I should have hired a really experienced photographer!” or “I wish I had included a tradition that reflected my own heritage.” And so on. It is hard for brides to get their heads around what is needed because appearance dominates, it has to be top on the list because all eyes are on the bride.

“Brides are not able to think very well about all the other things that are happening on that day, and that everyone, not just themselves, needs to feel valued and have a good time” Miss Kitty explained. I had given Purmission some of the Paper Posie products in case she could interest local brides in the very cute wedding activity kits or coloring books. “They just don’t see why they should be getting a book for the flower girl or activity kits for little wedding guests!” She said, “And I tried!” We laughed and sighed because we have heard it all before whether it is the bra, the kids or the parking valets...they are not, and I repeat, not on the bride’s radar screen!

But we both have great services and products and hopefully the stores that sell the dresses to the brides and the moms, friends and consultants who help out with all the planning will remind them, the brides, that it is what is underneath that is important, and that children can run a muck if not catered to just a little bit! It is the little things for the wedding, that make a big, happily ever after, difference. That way Miss Kitty and the Purrmission staff and all of us at Paper Posie, will be able to do what we do best and then we guarantee that everything about the big day will be just fabulous!

Purmission www.purrmissionlingerie.com

Paper Posie: www.paperposie.com and www.kidsatweddings.com

2010-05-06T09:24:00.000-06:00

Kids at Weddings

Yes, kids do go to weddings and by my calculations there might be as many as ten million children each year who participate in or attend a wedding. I know that there are brides and grooms who choose the “no kids” wedding route and for many couples this is both desirable and appropriate after all weddings are long affairs and children are quickly bored, they have too much energy and tend to make a mess. Mine certainly did. Yet today, little flower girls, ring bearers, page boys and butterfly girls are as popular as ever. Some children even come with the bride or groom, children of previous relationships they are part of the wedding party. Sometimes the couple has been living together and they have already produced a family. Many guests who are parents work all week and the weekends are the only time when children and parents are together. Lots of children are included as guests and family members. One bride called me the other day because she had thirty five children attending her wedding...” That sounds like a classroom to me” I said.

Weddings are happy events. Think back to the time you attended a wedding, most of us did at sometime or another. Cooing aunts and funny uncles, cool cousins that you didn’t know you had, family friends, and so on. I believe that children gain a key family experience at a wedding. Children of all ages quickly sense the connections, the likenesses, the belonging, security and love that families provide. Children are the reason we have marriage and although created in a different time societies worldwide still recognize the importance of the institution of marriage, established to protect the family and support healthy communities. Children at weddings observe a ritual that they will most likely replicate themselves and being a teacher I saw the possibility for the teachable moment so I designed the products and wrote the books. Goodness this all sounds so academic not at all romantic and glamorous!

Well today’s weddings are very glamorous, romantic, meaningful...and the hope is there in those little faces... cute ring bearers and flower girls. They add a special dimension to the day. While it is very hard to be still and quiet the effort is worth it and I am sure most little attendants and guests will agree with me. They get lots of pats on the head, hugs and kisses, gifts, new clothes and treats. They are fussed over, praised and talked about and eventually when the adults are all happy and relaxed they get to run around, slide on the floor and dance the night away! Well that is until they crash and fall asleep. But as we all know those same cute kids can also get overtired and cranky, they can make too much noise, hang on the drapes, upset the caterer, annoy their parents and other guests and generally become a complete nuisance and spoil the day.

Be prepared...that is my motto and an inexpensive wedding coloring book or some stickers might quickly calm things down. Getting temporary wedding tattoos to stick can divert the attention of most children, and they will work with spit or champagne! Perhaps making up a wedding fortune teller will entertain them for a while connect their little brains and fingers, and then give children an opportunity to interact with adults and each other in a more positive way. The scavenger hunt encourages conversation and observation and as an added extra, enterprising youngsters (there are plenty of those) soon find they can collect some serious pocket money with this game! Before the big day sharing information about what an attendant has to do and what a wedding is about in childlike terms helps take the worry away...and of course a cuddly teddy or two will help. There are more ways to address this event but suffice to say resources that relate to the day work...I know. So while the kids are not the first item on the list of things to do and consider for a wedding, I certainly think they are worthy of a little thought and preparation for if they are attending then “happy kids equals a happy wedding day for everyone” will apply.

2010-04-19T11:11:00.001-06:00

Kids at Weddings Blog from Penny
Saturday April 17th…a perfect spring day in England.
Saturday was the wedding day of my cousin Elizabeth. The wedding took place in a pretty English village in the Surrey hills not far from London. The day was blessed with warm sunshine and thanks to the Icelandic volcano, no aircraft noise or white streaks across the blue sky. The old market town church was the perfect setting for the gathering of English families which included quite a few children and two little babies one of which was only two weeks old.
The vicar was well prepared for the inevitable wiggles and cries and before the service he directed parents to take advantage of the play area in the back of the church and to come and go as needed.
The bride was attended by three little flower girls each carrying a perfect English rose. They had rehearsed their roles the evening before and everything went smoothly. Well, one trod on the veil but it survived! The girls sat quietly during the quite lengthy ceremony. Sucking a thumb helped one and the littlest one eventually took advantage of the play area with her Daddy.
Photographs were taken and flower petals thrown and before long we were all transported down the lanes to the Pirie Hall a perfect 1920’s village hall. Elizabeth’s mother had exceeded all expectations. A London fashion designer and superb seamstress, she had made yards and yards of delightful chintz bunting, fabric heart favors, and embroidered place names. The tables were set with English bone china cups, saucers and plates, along with pretty linens and silver tea pots filled with roses. The menu included smoked salmon, bread sticks, loads of little sandwiches, cakes and scones and adorable homemade wedding shaped (shoes, dresses, flowers, etc.) sugar cookies and little decorated cupcakes. Pink champagne and lots of tea washed it all down.
The long “wait” times existed of course, there were more photos, passing out hors d’oeuvres and drinks, finding places at tables, etc. The children managed well, cakes and cookies are good for children! But finally the need to race around arrived, shoes off on the slippery wood floor, running around and getting a little unruly with the inevitable tumbles and tears and a few frustrated parents.
This was of course was not a surprise for me after many years in the business of publishing and producing books and products for children at weddings! I recognized once again just why I had gone into such an odd niche business.
Why though you might ask, had I not provided coloring books and activity kits for my family! There was a little bag of items for the children stickers and a coloring book…but not related to the wedding theme.
I had indeed sent items…and I thought I had explained the value…the kits are easy to use, clean and dry, they honor wedding customs without showing people. Stickers, a photo frame, and wedding transfers along with the easy to make and color fortune teller offer a wonderful way for children to interact with adults. Older children do very well with the scavenger hunt especially when challenged to find the suggested dollar or pound! The coloring books invite children to include themselves in the images which are the ones all around them such as what did they eat, were they in a car, etc. Weddings are part of growing up, something to remember and ultimately an event children will replicate. Saving the items for later somehow my cousin had not understood the value of the gentle teachable moment with helpful family and friend involvement!
I learned a lesson and wrote a note to myself to remind those involved in wedding planning to remember the children. I know that brides, mothers, wedding helpers, consultants are all too busy when it comes to planning and running a wedding. After all it is the ultimate get it right the first time day! There is no other chance. As well as making all the favors and bunting, Elizabeth’s mother made an exquisite dress for her and the attendants and she did the flowers as well!
Yes it is true, children are not on the radar screen they are not important in creating all the components needed to make it the special day for the happy couple. Children come in a variety of sizes, ages and energy levels and for many even an hour of involvement as the day progresses can be a helpful distraction. I hear from many brides and grooms that the kits are especially successful and valued.
Elizabeth and Neil’s wedding day was wonderful, a one off event. The ultimate English wedding tea! I wish them much happiness.

Coming Soon

2010-03-06T14:35:00.002-07:00

Children can play a special part in a wedding. More soon from The Paper Posie Publishing Company.